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yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.