i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?