I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
