wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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