Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
