so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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