Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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