You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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