Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
