Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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