Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
