I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
