Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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