Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize