Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't turn off my feet"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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