I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
