I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
