He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
