Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
