so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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