Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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