I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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