I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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