never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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