if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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