$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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