just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Everyone says I win the strip club
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