but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
