is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize