just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
