What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize