Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
