I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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