I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
