So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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