Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
