People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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