She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
