don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
