we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
