You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize