So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
