Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Randomize
