do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
