Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she smelled like a LAN party
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
