just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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