dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
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Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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