people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
