If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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