So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
