he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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