I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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