My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
