I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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