i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
