ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
