She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
