You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
