i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
