I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
